The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. And Congratulations you have learnt Yiddish within minutes...
Monday 16 September 2019
Wednesday 24 July 2019
In praise of… dandelions
A translation assignment (Y10-11)
Savaged by mowers bent on confecting carpets from lawns, in both the full pomp of their leonine manes and the sparser beauty of their seed-clock state, dandelions are a glory that go unappreciated simply because they are common; familiarity breeds contempt. How welcome, then, that the Russian variety is being put to a novel use, which could force a reappraisal. Its taproot yields a milk rather like that from the rubber tree, promising to protect the world’s tyre factories from leaf-blight in east Asian latex fields, not to mention the rainforests cleared to make way for these. It’s less glamorous work for the dandelion than its established lines in flavouring, herbal medicine and especially wine, but then none of these ever persuaded us to love it. To make dandelion wine, Stephen Leacock wrote, mix heads with water, leave to stand for five minutes, empty out, and then replace with 1872 vintage champagne.
The dandelion researchers are tight-lipped when it comes to disclosing how they process the harvest into a usable feedstock. One approach is to cut off the taproots and grind them into a pulp with the addition of some water. Further processing steps yield solid blocks of natural rubber. (200 words)
В похвалу одуванчикам
Разорванные газонокосилками, лежащие на истоптанном ковре газона, в сугубом великолепии своих львиных грив и редкостной красоты семян, уложенных в сферу, одуванчики являют собой славу, которая недоступна для нашего восприятия просто потому, что они такие обыденные, - доступность же порождает презрение. Вот почему мы только приветствуем новое применение одуванчика в России, которое позволит взглянуть на него по-новому. Млечный сок, источаемый корнем растения схожий с латексом, способен поддержать мировую индустрию автомобильных шин, пораженную тлею листьев каучуконосцев, выращиваемых на Восточно-Азиатских полях, не говоря уже о защите тропических лесов вырубаемых под плантации для высадки каучуковых деревьев. В своей новой роли одуванчик лишен гламура, свойственного ему при производстве ароматизаторов, фитотерапии и особенно вина; но так ведь мы любим одуванчик совсем не за это. Стефан Ликок написал, как приготовить вино из одуванчиков: "Надо залить головки водой, дать отстояться в течение пяти минут, выбросить цветки и залить вытяжку марочным шампанским урожая 1872 года".
Ученые, изучающие одуванчики, хранят молчание, когда дело касается вопросов получения сырья пригодного для производства резины. Один из способов переработки заключается в отделении стержневых корней с последующим добавлением небольшого количества воды для их перетирания. При дальнейшей переработке получаются твердые брикеты из натурального каучука. (145 слов)
Wednesday 3 July 2019
My teaching introduction video. Обучение английскому в Смоленске.
I look forward to meeting you;
feel free to contact me via Skype or Preply.
Hello dear language learner!
A quick word about myself,
My name is Oleg, I'm originally from Russia. I spent 20 year in the army serving as a mil interpreter and liaison officer. And I'm a fully qualified teacher of English too; I have been teaching English for 15 years. I worked in primary, secondary schools and universities in Russia and abroad. I'm particularly interested in teaching British English (I also taught Russian, French and Ancient Greek).
My range of lessons starts with English conversation. Then academic writing, exam preparation. So if you're looking to take your USE (Unified State Exams) in English - here in Russia - I can help you pass these exams. Equally, if you need help developing your study skills or your general English - if that's the case - then again we could perhaps work together.
What our lessons be like?
We'll start with short warm-up activity to prepare you for learning.
We'll review our previous lesson and go through any homework you've completed.
After this I'll introduce a new topic or grammar point: this could be through a story, pictures or a short video. I'll support you every step of the way.
We'll finish our lesson with a quick recap of what we've learnt and I'll give you a task to complete before our next lesson.
Above all, I think it's important that we build up a good relationship. And I think that people tend to learn better if they have mates. So, I look forward to meeting you; feel free to contact me via Skype or Preply.
Thank you for reading the blog, by the way - it means a lot to me!
Best wishes,
Oleg A.
Thursday 2 May 2019
Translation Services
I am delighted to announce that a new professional human translation service has been opened here in Smolensk. Anton Anishchenkov, Clever Translation © director, said that the path to success in translation is a powerful combination of human creativity and machine intelligence to craft consistent quality translations, quickly.
Anton is a highly professional translator with a reputation for getting things done. He is heavily involved in English, Russian, French and Chinese translators communities. His latest professional accomplishments include Expo event translation jobs in Singapore.
Full information can be found on the Clever Translation website:
https://www.clever-translation.ru/
Congrats and good luck!
Sunday 24 March 2019
On the issue of Brexit
The 2016 vote on Brexit turned out to be a non-binding vote with a small majority that does not say much for MPs – after all, it only reflected the aspirations of the hoi polloi in England and Wales and it had started purely for display purposes to show younger voters that the conservative party was not ‘The Nasty Party’ at all.
Consequently, the House voted and said there cannot be no-deal under any circumstance; there is no appetite for no-deal. But the vote would not have been binding even if it had got through the Commons. Theresa May (fading into the gray background) could not afford a no-deal lying to the nation that ‘we will leave with or without a deal’.
On the bright side, listening to BBC Radio Norfolk on the issue of Brexit, I have noticed positive change. Brexiteers once proudly proclaiming that ‘they need us more than we need them’ are now being apprehensive about 'just getting out'.
Anyway, I am happy to accept that democracy in the UK can change its mind. After all, Brexit is like half the country rang the bell on the bus by accident,
and now they feel like they have to get off even though it is the wrong
stop...
Monday 4 March 2019
My Writing Techniques
So I decided to risk writing this blog post focusing exclusively on recycling my literary wares. I still don’t want you to think that learning to write with clarity, emphasis, and style is easy. It’s not.
1. Create a vivid expression
Listen to your language . Well-chosen words can make your writing memorable. Here is a title by Margaret Mitchell with one word altered.
Gone With the Snow.
Here is the original tittle.
Gone With the Wind.
Can you feel the cold damage done by the former security agency contractor Snowden who has no regrets from leaking the biggest cache of top-secret documents?
2. Write with detail
Move beyond generality and abstraction.
World Cup gave Putin cover for pension-age increase.
Immediately after Russia’s 5-0 victory over Saudi Arabia in the opening game of the World Cup, president Putin’s government pushed for a bill to raise progressively the national pension age, thereby steadily decreasing the probability of surviving until retirement for more than 5 million elderly people.
Which of the two sentences above makes you think?
3. Appeal to the senses
Don’t tell the reader; show the reader.
Change “There are still a lot of wild animals and birds of prey in the forest. ” to “Bears and wolves lurk in the thickets, and white-tailed eagles circle above the forest canopy”.
4. Collect good words that are just right for your intended meaning
After listening to hundreds of teachers tell their stories, I have reached the conclusion that there is one deciding factor that makes the difference in whether the teachers in any given school will lean toward positive and productive or desperate and crushed: that factor is the administrator.
Change “factor” to “element”
After listening to hundreds of teachers tell their stories, I have reached the conclusion that there is one deciding element that makes the difference in whether the teachers in any given school will lean toward positive and productive or desperate and crushed: that element is the administrator.
Some other techniques are outlined below:
If you’re a teacher, feel free to skip around. Assign the techniques in any order that suits your purpose. Use my examples to create your own.
1. Create a vivid expression
Listen to your language . Well-chosen words can make your writing memorable. Here is a title by Margaret Mitchell with one word altered.
Gone With the Snow.
Here is the original tittle.
Gone With the Wind.
Can you feel the cold damage done by the former security agency contractor Snowden who has no regrets from leaking the biggest cache of top-secret documents?
2. Write with detail
Move beyond generality and abstraction.
World Cup gave Putin cover for pension-age increase.
Immediately after Russia’s 5-0 victory over Saudi Arabia in the opening game of the World Cup, president Putin’s government pushed for a bill to raise progressively the national pension age, thereby steadily decreasing the probability of surviving until retirement for more than 5 million elderly people.
Which of the two sentences above makes you think?
3. Appeal to the senses
Don’t tell the reader; show the reader.
Change “There are still a lot of wild animals and birds of prey in the forest. ” to “Bears and wolves lurk in the thickets, and white-tailed eagles circle above the forest canopy”.
4. Collect good words that are just right for your intended meaning
After listening to hundreds of teachers tell their stories, I have reached the conclusion that there is one deciding factor that makes the difference in whether the teachers in any given school will lean toward positive and productive or desperate and crushed: that factor is the administrator.
Change “factor” to “element”
After listening to hundreds of teachers tell their stories, I have reached the conclusion that there is one deciding element that makes the difference in whether the teachers in any given school will lean toward positive and productive or desperate and crushed: that element is the administrator.
Some other techniques are outlined below:
- appropriate level of formality; delete “that” for rhythm and flow; avoid indefinite negatives; eliminate wordy references to time; don’t trust modifiers; use strong verbs and don’t nominalise; unstack those noun stacks; prefer the active voice; keep your verbs near their subjects and avoid mid-sentence shifts; punctuate for emphasis and use dashes for dashing effect; use ellipses for compression; use semicolons to both separate and connect; delight your readers with classic two-way setup; use antithesis; build towards climax; trim sentence endings for closing emphasis; end with the thought you intended to develop next; use three-part paragraphs (topic, development, resolution) to frame your thoughts; write in sentences but think in paragraphs; use parallel structures to create rhythm; use periodic sentences instead of loose ones to create suspense; use anaphora and epistrophe, anadiplosis and isocolon, analogies and comparisons; return to your metaphors and similes; avoid cliches; write with personal and style; add a light-hearted touch to your writing; know your options for comic effect; go beyond clarity to eloquence and grace; develop your persona to be Christian;
- and finally, start with something old and end with something new.
If you’re a teacher, feel free to skip around. Assign the techniques in any order that suits your purpose. Use my examples to create your own.
Friday 1 February 2019
Russia’s Education Woes
We will often find that the reformers of our education system including Olga Vasilieva, the Minister of Education and Science of Russia, went to traditional school. I believe they perhaps had a few boring teachers, or they felt education was too traditional for them, so they come out and spent their lives trying to reform the education system as best they can. And they mistakenly think that the Russian children nowadays are receiving the same eduction as the one they did.
However, the result is that they create the situation where a number of children no longer have access to that essential ‘bag of goodies’. A bag of goodies which they themselves got from their traditional educations and have benefited from this bag so well throughout their lives. In other words they climbed the ladder to the top then ‘unwittingly’ pulled the ladder up from under them.
A number of reformers in our education system believe, for instance, that we are educating our children for the 19th century world. But it would be a mistake to believe that our classrooms are like the 19th century classrooms: there are no canes, no inkwells, no cursive writing, no memorisation, no rote learning, no chanting – no; there’s lots of group learning , there’s lots of asking the children what they think of their teacher and so on – nothing like the 19th century classroom.
I believe that in fact the problem is that the reformers misunderstand what ought to be in that bag of goodies – they misunderstand the essential parts. Let’s take Eton, for example. For super-wealthy Russian MPs, education at one of Britain’s top traditional boarding schools has become as desirable as a pad in Mayfair. Kitting out your little Boris or Svetlana in boaters and blazers has a particular cachet, and that is unlikely to change even if sanctions affect Russia’s relationship with the West (in Sep 2016 Eton boys secured private audience at the Kremlin with Vladimir Putin).
Eton has very traditional education; and I’m sure everyone would agree that this is an extraordinary school. Though Eton has two interactive white-boards in its school – we have more interactive board in any primary school here in Smolenk than in Eton. Yet, in the state sector every classroom has in interactive white board, every teacher (there is an expectation) should be using those interactive white boards.
In Eton where there is a very good education, children will learn Geography instead of taking Travel & Tourism courses: in Eton, they are doing Geography, Ancient History and Latin, and so on.
One can hardly accuse Eton of not being able to create creative thinkers when the likes of George Orwell, Hugh Laurie and James Bond himself (or rather I suppose I should say Ian Fleming) went to Eton.
There’s a quote that I like which sums up what I’m saying: “The education that is best for the best is the education that is best for all.” And I believe that only when we understand the concept of rejecting some reform and embracing some tradition, only then will we be able to move our schools out of chaos and place them firmly in the 21st century.
However, the result is that they create the situation where a number of children no longer have access to that essential ‘bag of goodies’. A bag of goodies which they themselves got from their traditional educations and have benefited from this bag so well throughout their lives. In other words they climbed the ladder to the top then ‘unwittingly’ pulled the ladder up from under them.
A number of reformers in our education system believe, for instance, that we are educating our children for the 19th century world. But it would be a mistake to believe that our classrooms are like the 19th century classrooms: there are no canes, no inkwells, no cursive writing, no memorisation, no rote learning, no chanting – no; there’s lots of group learning , there’s lots of asking the children what they think of their teacher and so on – nothing like the 19th century classroom.
I believe that in fact the problem is that the reformers misunderstand what ought to be in that bag of goodies – they misunderstand the essential parts. Let’s take Eton, for example. For super-wealthy Russian MPs, education at one of Britain’s top traditional boarding schools has become as desirable as a pad in Mayfair. Kitting out your little Boris or Svetlana in boaters and blazers has a particular cachet, and that is unlikely to change even if sanctions affect Russia’s relationship with the West (in Sep 2016 Eton boys secured private audience at the Kremlin with Vladimir Putin).
Eton has very traditional education; and I’m sure everyone would agree that this is an extraordinary school. Though Eton has two interactive white-boards in its school – we have more interactive board in any primary school here in Smolenk than in Eton. Yet, in the state sector every classroom has in interactive white board, every teacher (there is an expectation) should be using those interactive white boards.
In Eton where there is a very good education, children will learn Geography instead of taking Travel & Tourism courses: in Eton, they are doing Geography, Ancient History and Latin, and so on.
One can hardly accuse Eton of not being able to create creative thinkers when the likes of George Orwell, Hugh Laurie and James Bond himself (or rather I suppose I should say Ian Fleming) went to Eton.
There’s a quote that I like which sums up what I’m saying: “The education that is best for the best is the education that is best for all.” And I believe that only when we understand the concept of rejecting some reform and embracing some tradition, only then will we be able to move our schools out of chaos and place them firmly in the 21st century.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
